When you first start a relationship, the excitement, butterflies are still fresh and addictive. You become infatuated with the new person, such that everything they do is right with you. Some emotional chemicals light up your brain’s pleasure center and all you want to do is spend time with your new catch. This feeling is so powerful, but, it is important that you’re alert to potential red flags. Do not be too consumed by your emotions that you become blind to them. You should also remember to pay attention to your gut feelings, and intuitions. Those are the ways our minds let us know if there’s danger ahead.
1. You make excuses on their behalf
Everyone has a downtime, bad days that make them moody or get angry at the spur of the moment, but when it becomes too often, it is a bad sign. That they are having a bad day doesn’t give them the right to yell at you at any chance they get. You deserve to be treated well, so don’t overlook this when you notice it.
2. You don’t feel heard
Communication is one of the keys to a lasting relationship. When you bring up issues relating to you or the relationship, your partner should try to understand. They shouldn’t get defensive or dismiss what you’re pointing out. If most of your communications about your feelings leave you frustrated or unheard, then your partner might not be able to meet your emotional needs.
3. You don’t feel respected
It’s fine to have different values, beliefs, opinions on issues. You came from different backgrounds and you were brought up in different ways, so this should be expected. Your differences are what makes the relationship interesting. But, you both should respect each other’s point of view. If you feel insulted, or your partner makes sarcastic comments about your values, then you’re looking at a potential deal-breaker.
4. You don’t trust your partner
It is impossible to build a relationship with someone you can’t trust or rely on. If your partner has once told you a lie or broken their promises to you, it’s a big red flag you shouldn’t overlook. You will always doubt what they say even if they’re being truthful. It is unhealthy for you to force yourself to stay in a relationship where you feed on lies often.
5. You’re always compromising
You shouldn’t have to accommodate your partner’s excesses all the time to ensure peace. There are times it is necessary to compromise for them, but when it becomes too much, it is a red flag. Your partner should respect your preferences too, they shouldn’t be the only ones making the decisions for you to conform to them.
6. You feel insecure
It is normal to feel insecure at the beginning of a relationship. You feel your mistakes will drive your partner away, it is expected. But when your partner has to point out those mistakes always and criticize you, then it isn’t a good sign. Anyone who insults you, whether jokingly or not, doesn’t deserve to have you. Your partner should create a safe place for you to try out new things, even if it doesn’t make sense.
7. You are not truly happy
You can’t fake happiness for long, it will definitely show. If your relationship makes you unhappy most times then, it’s time to check out things. Your new relationship should be adding positive things to your life, your relationship should be a reason for happiness, not the other way round. If all you do in your relationship is settle fights, recover from fights, brace up for more fights, then you’re better being single.
8. You don’t want to introduce them to friends and family
If you’re in a good and happy relationship, you just want the whole world to know who is behind it. You want to show them off to people around you. But when you’re worried that your family won’t like or approve of them, then you should examine things. Are you embarrassed about your partner? Do you fear your partner will be rude to your family, and that’s why you don’t want to introduce them? Has your partner done something that you know your family won’t accept them with? You should find out why you’re not excited to show off your partner to people.
9. You hope your partner will change
Relationships are not meant to change people. No one is given the job to change men on this side of the world. If your partner has some habits you don’t like, it isn’t your job to change them. Your partner has to decide to deal with those habits on their own. When you go into a relationship hoping to change your partner someday, then you’re in for a lot of stress. This is why you should know your partner’s preferences before you go into a relationship. Some people can’t change their preferences for anything.
When emotions are already involved, it is hard to sight red flags. The main key is to be alert when entering a new relationship. Know what you want and what is best for you before investing too much in a relationship.